You'll see Carmen in the next Bachelor update, though we're not sure when that's going to be.  We'll see if we can't expedite it, but in the meantime enjoy the new current episode, detailed below.

Season's Greetings from The Happy Bachelor.

Be sure to check out our latest episode detailed below.

The Generally Defamatory Tone Of The Ed Snowden Reports. On audio: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/thehappybachelor.m3u

Transcript of latest adventure available at: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/

New Bachelor theme song in the stream now (as previously discussed in this list it's a reworking of a previous theme).

Heir's really looking forward to the New Year, and the month and a half long pro-sex holiday starting after Twelfth Night, marked by Valentines and ending before the return of Daylight Savings Time.  Not to mention that it is and will be a Year Of Nominality.  He truly doesn't like December at all.  He thinks it's the worst month of the year, though there's no accounting for taste.  He's got a whole laundry list of things that are wrong with December, but he just told me the Mentor right now he doesn't want to keep whining and complaining.  He's marking his calendar, and he sees the pro-sex holiday as making up for the darkness that is December (in the northern hemisphere anyway... ...there's no Darkest Day in Papua New Guinea of which he's aware).  He sees it as making up for the darkness, and he sees the pro-sex holiday as being all that December is not.  And vice versa.  He didn't receive his order of foil tape that will complete the last two spaceplates for his car, but he's going to check with them Saturday to see what's going on.  He wants to be able to close the deal, and move to the next stage.

So once again, we hear Ed Snowden essentially rag on about how bad America is, and once again we will talk in our next episode about why this is such a serious issue.  Not the spying scandal per se, but the defamatory scandalization, with an ends-justify-the-means mentality to boot.  What the Heir says he wants to do, is once both scandals are over, is to see launched a goodwill ambassador initiative, to prove to "swing state" countries that we really aren't so bad after all, and in fact better than rival countries in those things that matter the most.  For example, if we do get rid of Prism, and hence the ability to spy on those rival countries that are spying on us, we can let the swing state countries know that we're taking the high road, and that the spying rival countries are taking the low road and not worthy of the swing state countries' moral investment.  We can also point to the fact that we are the most generous country in the world when it comes to charity through established charitable organizations.  And whatever progress we're making in helping getting the people of Tacloban on their feet again, we can point to and also point out how the rival countries don't even come close.  Most of these swing state countries are in Africa, but we can also get Papua New Guinea on our side too.  A highly underestimated potential ally, for all the reasons the Bachelor has discussed for years now.  Then we get to have most of these swing state countries on our side, and we can really sink China and Putin-era Russia as a result.  After all it was China that bedraggled most African countries with a crummy rail system, and they could use our assistance to fix it since it seems as though China essentially up and left.  The Heir intends for America to recover completely this way from the Ed Snowden defamations, and then Ed Sniveler himself comes up and says, well I think you partly owe me credit for this, because you wouldn't have this goodwill initiative if it weren't for me.  And then we'll say, no, Ed Snowden.  We in the initiative did this all ourselves.  We owe you nothing and we give you nothing.  No medals, no statue, no monument, no nothing, go home.

* * * * * * * * * *

National Principle

* * * * * * * * * *

The Heir's happy with Brooklyn's turnaround, like with last night's game with up to 130 points.  Not too many times they've gone above 100, let alone above 120.  It was just two weeks ago that the Heir was calling for Jason Kidd's dismissal, but you know what?  Let's give him this chance now, the Heir said.  They're still not out of the woods yet though, at 9-15, well below 500, December notwithstanding.  But again, be sure to command those games that you can handily win, and the toughies like Portland or Miami, try to force an overtime and win it by 2 or so.  Heir is still stung by what happened in Sacramento a month ago, damn the cowbells.

You've heard about Ed Snowden trying to get into Brazil now.  Of course other than his spying allegations, we don't buy the other stuff he said in that open letter.  We're going to talk about how he has damaged the U.S. in our next episode, even though we don't know when that's going to be.  We'd like to get it in before the New Year, so as to help Heir pay back all his debts for the old year, lest they bedraggle him for the New Year.

Still snowing where we are, people.  The Heir found it hilarious that a couple of days ago there was a radio spot advertising Toros snowblowers trying to put down the use of manual shovels by having this fictional guy using a pink shovel his mom gave him, and his nasal voice was stereotypical sounding as well.  Heir's not sure who that's supposed to sell to, but he's satisfied with the shovels we have with spiraled cornrow carvings on the handles.  It's more green that way, particularly with the carvings conformant with the second pillar of classiness.  He thinks that radio spot is even worse than the Astroturf PSA's regarding the miscreance of insurance fraud.  Guy gets caught with insurance fraud and his own teenage son won't talk to him.  His son walks by going, "yeah right!"  And the guy calls after him going, "Tommy?  Tommy?  ...Tommy?"  o/ o/ Tommy can you hear me o/ o/ the Heir's thinking about.

Leeanna, Carmen, the Heir and I the Mentor hit the shops later today, and the Heir was wondering why at both Bland Barns and Comida Del Sol there were so many people there.  We looked at him and he was like, dang that's right!  It's the snowstorm that's coming.  He figured that enough people have been shell-shocked enough by Sandy that no one's going to take chances.  But he looked down upon those people running around with an armful of cans at Bland Barns despite the availability of shopping baskets.  People shopped with more dignity at Comida Del Sol.  When we got to the Furniture Store for the Heir to only pick up a $10 set of headphones, basically the least expensive thing there, the Furniture Store Owner was like, dang you're really stocking up here.  Getting ready for the snowstorm, I take it?  I don't think the Heir got the joke right away.  But as we left the shop, the Furniture Store Owner said, well, have a nice snowstorm.  Make sure you have a lot of snowball fights, and build lots of snowmen.  Oh, and, uh, women too.

We want to at some point change our opening song somewhat.  Just as a spoiler as to what we're thinking of, though when the time comes around we may get different ideas.  But for now, we want to replace the slap bass with a fretless.  Both the Heir and I the Mentor really get into that deep soulful house that uses a fretless.  We don't want that fanfare sounding like a bastardization of Zarathustra A Spaced Odd Da See.  It'll probably sound like a bastardization of Fire by the Ohio Players.  We'd like for the fanfare to make it every other measure, with me and the Heir jamming with shakers and tambourines and clapping hands going "Oh Yeah" in between and among.  Also maybe semi-fanfares with just the saxes, or just the trumpets.  We still like how all the horns build up at the end and then it goes out with the primal drums.  Stuff like that.  Just to give you some good ideas.

Okay, maybe keep Jason Kidd on for now, the Heir said with a :/ as long as they build on tonight's victory consistently.

Tim Capstraw said that the Nets need to fight back.  What the Heir walks away with is that means that any team coming into Brooklyn has to feel like they're walking into the lion's den.  Nets need to command fear in the other team.  Right now 93% of the entire NBA are at least privately thinking to themselves, well we're going to Brooklyn and so we expect to pick up a game there because we see it as a formality.  What the Heir thinks should be the highest priority in Brooklyn is to set specific goals.  Even if they can't immediately plug up a sucky third quarter, they can do something like coming all the way back in the fourth quarter and tying it at the buzzer, forcing it to overtime and winning an otherwise losing game by 2-3 points, inspiring a look of dismay on Sacramento's coach's face when he sees the cowbells won't be playing for him.  Nets haven't forced an overtime yet this season.  More suggestions.  Dominate over 50% of your games with a consistent lead of at least 20 points, and occasionally 50 points making it out of the sports section and into the regular headlines and the history books.  Do so at home at least 80% of the time.  Don't settle just for wins against Utah and Milwaukee.  Lose no more than 20% of your games, and even then only close, basically an occasional sympathetic gimme and not a reflection on your part.  Find different ways of being very unbrooklyn-in-2013-like to the point where Nets become the first topic of discussion when someone asks, hey how about that NBA, not Miami.  With their backs up against the wall, these suggestions would be good starters for the Nets, the Heir says.  Oh, and one other thing he also said.  Fire Jason Kidd.

Kidd's last stand.

Heir's giving Jason Kidd this coming Thursday with New York.  Let's face it.  He's making Avery Johnson look good.  Kidd's excuse-laden conferences in the post game make the Heir nostalgic for Carlisimo.  At least he got the team in post season, albeit not past the first round.  Carlisimo didn't have the star power Jason Kidd does, but New York sports at large needs to understand that star power per se doesn't win you games.  Competent coaching and managing playing does.  Just one more chance, and then Prokorov starts getting an overflowing inbox.

o/ o/ "When Black Friday comes..." o/ o/

We in the Bachelor are looking at the next step in terms of a device in the Third Pillar: Music/Audio.  We presently use an off-the-shelf solution which was good to have years ago when we got it.  But here are some its limitations.  It doesn't allow you to switch between playlists with next or previous buttons like you would with the tracks.  It would be useful on the road when you want to switch "stations," sort to speak, and not have to pull over to do it.  Also we'd want a wireless ability to manage tracks, though we're not sure whether Bluetooth would help here or not.  We don't always want to have to sync every time we make changes using a central controller like a laptop or a desktop.  And of course it's got to have an elegance to it, but we're hard pressed to see anything out there that comes close.  And no, we're not going the smartphone/touchscreen/tabletized route.  A serious audiophile demands a more dignified approach.  That's why we're looking at a DIY solution, to make use of the Heir's geeky skills in electronic assembly to boot.  If we're ever successful, the device itself will be known as Music The Third Pillar, rather it being a filename type label for an OTS that's actually called something else.

After Rock Star Batter's alleged outburst at his suspension hearing, the Heir now believes it's better for MLB to suspend him for 200+ games, to keep him from playing next year, because he believes it'll be better for Main Team One, long term.  They won't be as distracted, and they might even stave off a second failure in a row to make post-season.  After all, a good clubhouse manager knows he can't worry that much about one player.  He also has to think about the 39 other players on the roster.  Heir doesn't get how in his public statement, Rock Star Batter accused the officials overseeing the suspensions as being felons and liars.  That's an unusual ad homenum to boot, and raises the question of who on the panel served jail time for more than one year for a given criminal conviction, which is what a felon is, the legal definition.  Unless, of course, Rock Star Batter doesn't know what a felon is.  Rock Star Batter's statement also went on for about three screen's worth of words on visual, and raises the issue of someone with that extreme enough anger and near-rage likely having something to hide.  That is, opposed to someone expressing regrets and worries in ten words or less.  Heir will do research on how suspension hearings work in the MLB, as opposed to legal court trials.

No, it was too good to be true with that Greg guy for the Heir.

Something interesting the Heir found for other Ed Snowden skeptics.  Lyle Chargeoshack's nemesis was pulling an Ed Snowden recently, looking just as silly in doing so as Ed Snowden himself.  On visual (requires Flash Player): http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s17e01-let-go-let-gov

Heir thinks that Greg Jarrett might have gotten fired from Bloomberg Radio, because it was a Susanna Thompson who was supplying the numbers this past Friday, not Greg Jarrett.  Actually Greg Jarrett hardly ever supplied any numbers when he was supposed to, and that's why the Heir had to rearrange his listening schedule for the numbers, just because of this Greg guy.  Time will tell if this Greg guy is truly gone, or if he just had a dental appointment Friday.  Apparently if this is the same guy the Heir found research on, Greg Jarrett was apparently associated with the Attack Dog News Network on visual, and got fired from WGN because possibly inappropriate content or remarks on the air.  Heir just hated how he would only give percentages, and not actual point values or the market totals.  It's not what you did do, it's what you didn't do.

Heir's also keeping up with football and basketball, not hockey though.  He's happy Brooklyn got a win on the road west coast, after their inexcusable loss in Sacramento, which used a lot of gloating cowbells.  Those cowbells fell silent in Phoenix, even though it was only by two points.  So it looks as though at their very worst, Brooklyn will split their west coast 1-2.  They could make it 2-1 tonight, even though Fridays and Saturdays are when we in the Bachelor involve most in you-know-what (dang can't we just say it(?)).  Heir was pretty sure they will go 2-7 on the season at the end of their west coast, because that would be the only way they can be motivated to start dominance in their division, by hitting bottom and striking back with their backs up against the wall.  So even though it's good for them to get a win, they really can't afford to go win-loss-win-loss, when their New York rivals would most certainly go win-win-win.  That's how it is in rivalry sports.  When one team wins, the other loses.  Both teams winning or both teams losing, what's all that about anyway?

We in the Bachelor observe the tragedy that struck the mid- Philippines and other places in the general path of that storm.  We intend to give to charity at the appropriate time, the same way we did with Sandy.

Next time we update, you'll probably see Yumeka's profile pic for real.

So the Heir completed the coozie based cradles for his audio player yesterday.  We didn't have a chance to mention that here, because as soon as he came home with them, the first thing he did was take a two hour nap in his club chair.  After an on and off flirtation with type-A striving agitation for the last 8 years, he really earned it.  And today is the 8th anniversary of his health scare/finance scare.  He is resolved now never to go back to the dark days.  The cradles and the space plates that match them contribute to the vanilla society-besieged second and third pillars, to ensure Heir doesn't give away his life savings and not get anything meaningful in return.  He seems to believe that Year Of Nominality 2014 started yesterday.  He's hoping it'll be a slam dunk on those things most wrong in the world from a pro-sex point of view.  And by the way, people, honor our veterans.

It's Saturday night, and the Heir should be getting some you-know-what right now.  Today, he was helping to defend the second pillar from the scourge of over-tech forced obsolescence, by helping the Furniture Store Owner build some coozie based audio player cradles for your car, to match the spaceplates he helped him build too.  Also to help defend the third pillar as well.  And just so you know, it appears as though 2014 will in fact be a year of nominality.  The Heir thinks it might start when he and the Furniture Store Owner get done with the coozies.  Because then the tech sector would not have been there to stop them.

Heir had his last Welch's grape soda at BSK tonight, along with a Chili Pasta.  He took note of his first sip of the last Welch's, but he forgot to note his last drop.  But it's all okay, because to the very end Welch's served as part of the culture, not worrying about ceremony or anything.  However, it's the end of an era, and even though the stand-in grape sodas are pretty good, it'll never be like Welch's.  That was a unique formula that now belongs to the ages.

This year's New York Marathon is getting underway as of this writing, last year's having been cancelled because of Sandy.  The Bachelor is still against last year's cancellation, because the Heir points out that if the official name of this year's marathon is The 2013 New York City Marathon, you cannot then call it The 2012 And 2013 New York City Marathons Rolled Into One, or The 2013 New York Marathon To Also Make Up For Lost Time For Last Year's Cancelled Marathon, because our time-rigid society just doesn't function that way.  The organizers of Run Anyway last year know this fact well, which is why they organized Run Anyway to begin with.  Maybe future Marathons should drop the year from its name officially, and only include it as an informal subtitle.  Otherwise, people like the Heir will be reminded, probably until 3013, that at least one Marathon during the Marathon's history didn't make it.

OK, so it wasn't in four straight.  But as the Heir predicted, Chowdah still won.  Even though John Sterling claims that you can't predict baseball, every time Chowdah makes post-season and there are no other formidable teams in post-season, they both make and win the World Series.  The Heir will skip any trips to Boston the next several days to avoid any chance he might run in with the parade.  He's hoping that New York sports will make a real comeback, now that the Giants are 2 and 6, and the Nets lost their season opener.

Ed Snowden got hired at a web site company in Russia.  Heir believes it's only a matter of time until he undercuts that company, possibly by leaking its trade secrets to a competitor, and travelling all the way back to Hong Kong to seek asylum there, to avoid the consequences of his actions.  He's going to push his luck, and in the meantime come up with even more defamations about America.

Heir lamented over the weekend that last week was a bad week to be an American, because of the defamations made by Ed Snowden.  He's hoping we'd get a break this week, but then he heard on audio this morning about Spain making complaints that their citizens also had their phone calls hacked.  Heir counts roughly 30 European countries total.  Three of those thus far have lodged complaints against the U.S. regarding spying by the NSA, so there are 27 countries left.  Last week it was two out of the three countries that did so, so that boils it down to an average of 2 European countries per week.  So you divide 27 by 2, and get 13.5.  Round that up to 14, so it'll be 14 more weeks America has to endure all the Ed Snowden B.S.  There are roughly 4 weeks a month, so that's 3.5 more months of Ed Snowden.  That's an extraordinarily long time for people to think Ed Snowden is right about everything, and his critics are wrong about everything.  No human being who enjoys that much attention in the media can go uncorrupt and not overreach.  Eventually, he will come out as a fraud.  Trust the Heir on this one, people.  It's going to happen.

* * * * * * * * * *

National Principle

* * * * * * * * * *

In the upcoming Bachelor episode, in November and hopefully not December, the Heir expresses his misgivings about Ed Snowden.  He's sure that Ed Snowden and his Russian house host were doing high fives when they heard that Cell Phone Gate had happened.  The Heir believes that the scandal may have emboldened Ed Snowden to eventually swift boat America at large.  The Heir believes it's going to happen.  Regardless of legal and privacy issues, make no mistake.  The Bachelor absolutely does not believe that Ed Snowden is a hero in any way, shape or form, and has no intention of ever changing that view.

* * * * * * * * * *

National Principle

* * * * * * * * * *

So now it's going to be Boston and St. Louis.  It appears obvious to the Heir that Boston will win in four straight.  St. Louis doesn't have a chance.  By this time next week or so you'll see the Boston parade.  The reason why the Heir believes this is because when Main Team One fails to make postseason and Chowdah does make postseason, the postseason games are mostly a formality for Chowdah.  World Series will definitely be a formality, a four straight game formality.  It'll be interesting whether the Heir will be proven wrong, and St Louis wins it in seven.  Because there's no way Boston will give up anything to St. Louis.

Okay, sure, we avoided Default this time, but now there's the problem where Al Shabaab is threatening British muslims who speak out against extremism, as per the CIS. Those who still believe the Golden Rule also applies to extremist groups should see this as proof that the Golden Rule is the furthest thing from the extremists' minds.

The Eschatological Perspective On The Worst That Can Happen. On audio: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/thehappybachelor.m3u

Transcript of latest adventure available at: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/

We think we might be able to get the recording done tonight, and then put online tomorrow.  With any luck.  Thing is, Marco's grandmother has had a cold this past week, and may need help.  For some reason, the Heir and Marco have to go in together, and for some reason it cuts into Bachelor production time.  But like I as the Mentor say, we might luck out.  But not with the default though.  That's still on schedule.

It's been a while, but we're shooting for a new episode this upcoming week.  We'll see if we get to do it.  If we do, pretty auspicious having it happen during Default Week.  Imagine that!  Heir's still amazed at most people on audio (except Bloomberg) whistling past the graveyard, like it's not going to happen.  Oh yeah!?  You people actually think so!!??

Okay, so as a followup to the Heir's insistence that we're still heading for an inevitable default on government debts, he also said that even with this one proposal he was hearing about earlier today, it ain't over till it's over.

The Heir noticed that a new guy on Bloomberg Radio who was supposed to tell you the market totals every fifteen minutes only gives you the percentages changed.  The Heir had to go back to CBS 880 to get the Dow total.  Maybe the new guy on Bloomberg thinks that people should only use iPhones to get the market totals, and it not being skin off his nose if they bump into sensationalistic imagery in doing so, and making them spend more of their retirement on purely discretionary spending when they need to save.  The guy's wasting his time if he thinks that, because what's he doing there since people can also get the percentages on their sensationalistic iPhones.  The Heir's not sure that the woman presenter who was there before him will ever come back, though hopefully she's only on vacation this upcoming week.

Bloomberg Radio at about quarter after ten seems convinced we're heading for default.  Heir was saying that he believed that at least an hour previous to that.  It'll be the first ever default, and the Heir will have survived to see it, his generation.  I the Mentor pointed out to him about an article or section in the U.S. Constitution that is paraphrased or interpreted as saying, the ability of the U.S. to pay back its debts and obligations shall not be questioned.  When he heard that, he said that once default happens, we should impeach all 435 give or take members of Congress, both chambers, and then have them shot via firing squad.  I'm sure he was using hyperbole of course.  He doesn't want to see them get hurt, and also at this time public opinion seems to start to run against capital punishment.  I asked him how he would hope to achieve summary execution of Congress anyway, like maybe it'll be a U.N. firing squad, and Germany and China will help fund it and stuff.  We had the window open ajar in the Swank Lounge talking about it, and we heard the whistling of an airliner go by, possibly a sound you won't hear in 9 days time if we can't or won't pay our air traffic controllers.  And forget about Amtrak as a backup option.  And a lot of other stuff.  So here's what we suggest you google, people.  Google, "the ability of the U.S. to pay back its debts and obligations shall not be questioned," and also google, "government default countdown clock."

2013 was Main Team One's worst season ever.  When the Heir dials on over to sports talk after tonight's loss, he'll hear them say things like, well x was their worst year, y was their worst year.  Nuh-uh.  It's 2013.  It was even worse than 2008, because at least they had an excuse that Fitness Coaching Manager was learning the ropes then.  Can't say that this year!  So even though Quiet Beatle Closing Pitcher retires after this year, the Bachelor looks forward to next March to see who's up and coming, to help Main Team One make up for lost time.  In the time Main Team One has left, they might end up winning the last four games now that in elimination they won't have anything to play for.  Preseason exhibition baseball comes six months early this year.  But at this rate, Chowdah Challenging Team will end up with one more pennant than Main Team One since the start of both franchises.

The Bachelor admires John McCain for his rebuttal to Vladimir Putin's editorial in the New York Times.  We didn't read the rebuttal yet, but the CIS portrays it as an ad hominem attack on Russian politics in general.  One suggestion the Bachelor has for John McCain is when that Russian citizen commented to the CIS that John McCain should spend more time in Russia before criticizing it, John McCain should respond with, well that guy never explicitly said that what I said was necessarily wrong, or what was wrong with it.  In a way, John McCain's weak rebuttal is sign of a hidden strength in that you don't always have to have a polished showing in order to stand up for principle and conviction.

Main Team One was selling Charlie Brown Bobbleheads at one of their games.  If they didn't suck so bad right now, they probably would have sold Excited Shortstop Bobbleheads or something.  Charlie Brown was the born loser for whom nothing ever went right in his game, like dropping easy flies, or getting hit with a line drive on the mound that took his shirt off.  Is Main Team One making an implied admission about their performance this year with Charlie Brown?

We saw what are currently available in terms of retro style Bluetooth headsets, but here's what they need to do, in spirit of the second pillar, classiness.  The headset would be about as small as the plain ones, but it would be able to fit securely in your ear with a rounded flared ear piece similar to ones you see on piezo electric earphones.  It would still be a two inch ma bell receiver style, available in light blue and tan beige.  The crystal radio set pages linked from our site shows pictures of the kind of piezo phones we're talking about.  It's better than a conventional set of ear buds, because it stays in your ear instead of dropping out like ear buds do.  Ear buds rely on that cartilage gap being small enough to accommodate a thin audio wire, but that's only true of true believers of The Responsibility Age, because being such causes their ears to be exactly shaped the right way for the ear buds.  If Microsoft were an automaker, new car seats will force everyone to have the same size butt.

Hopefully NOAA All Hazards Radio will resolve that conflict regarding their station in New York with the Coast Guard.  Seems as though the FCC has abdicated in this manner, dumping it on NOAA and the Coast Guard, when the original solitary reason for the FCC's existence is to allot and coordinate frequencies, rather than just tell people they can't curse or show their you-know-what on TV.

The Bachelor heard Secretary Of State Stalwart Two get all defensive on audio going, "we're *not* talking about war!!!"  And then he goes on to make a purported reassurance that they don't seek to go beyond the air strikes.  Sounds to the Bachelor like when Lyndon Johnson had said we will not seek a larger war in Vietnam.  Interesting how the CIS did not point out the similarities.  Again as I the Mentor was writing this, Flaileef burst in again to say that for the Bachelor to rip on Stalwart Two is just not good enough, and instead we had to join his specific activist movement against the air strikes.  We subsequently refused and he stormed out in a huff.

We fixed that problem where the Renderotica pics weren't coming up properly from the Bachelor site.

Look before you leap, but be sure to leap after you look.

The Bachelor is against the proposed strikes against Syria, mainly because it will effectively preclude helping Turkey, Jordan, Lebanon, etc., with the absorption of refugees, or addressing the problem of misplaced persons within Syria.  And just when I as the Mentor wrote this, Flaileef burst through the front door to proclaim that that is just not good enough.  How foolish would we ever be to believe he'd give us credit for taking a stance similar to his, we told him, and he went right back out the door again.

The Heir opened a letter from his dealership thanking him for choosing their place to take his car in for service, and offered to buy his car from him when he's "ready" to let go of it.  Looks like the Responsibility Age is still alive and well, and trying to interfere with the Heir's plans to get that analog radio in his present car, with classy reminiscent faceplates.  They must have known about it, and it can't be a coincidence.  The Heir has seen how ghastly today's new cars are, as they don't mind shoving down his throat a tabletized dash that is just as potentially lemony and Frinkian as that one high tech security house on the Simpsons that rises from its foundations to run down the street to safety, and then blows up halfway there.  Well at least the real humans won't burn quite as fast in there.

We in the Bachelor discovered that when Renderotica updated their web site, it broke the links to the girls' gallery pics.  We'll fix this when we get the chance.

The Bachelor will still be there, long after virulence itself stops going viral.  And we hope you enjoy the latest Bachelor episode as below!

Hey, well, guess what.  Because it's raining today and we can't get to the beach conformant with Carmen's preferred dress code, we found time at home to update for the new episode as follows:

The Bachelor's Non Essentials Economics Emphasis On The Kidnapping Victims In Cleveland. On audio: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/thehappybachelor.m3u

Transcript of latest adventure available at: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/

We're almost done with the upcoming episode, though it may take a week or so before it becomes available.

Looks like there's hope on the deco side of things for the Heir with the car radio after all.  He did an online search on a crafts side, and has concluded that in order to go authentic looking at least, he needs what are called texture sheets and foil tape.  Here's some stuff he found with the texture sheets: http://www.shadesofclay.com/products/Tools/Textures/Textures.htm.  He likes what he sees in set B and set D, grid-like and diamond-like designs from back in the post deco era when you saw maroon, French vanilla, and silver and chrome colors.  With chrome that's where the tape foil comes in.  He hasn't come across particular preferred avenues with the tape foil, but the following holds promise for him: http://m.michaels.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-Michaels-Site/default/mProduct-Show?pid=sb4197&start=3&q=sheet, http://m.michaels.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-Michaels-Site/default/mProduct-Show?pid=cp0503&start=9&q=sheet.  Heir doesn't want to look like he's endorsing one store or product line over another, but right now it's just this one site that's good at listing possible options for him.  That's helpful because you don't always want to schlep to a store just to think about ideas when you should be able to do so on a whim wherever you are.  Only now does the internet start allowing you to do that.  So even though the Heir needs to get and properly install the analog radio first, he sees the following color schemes for a frame: maroon, French vanilla, chrome.  And he sees the following for an inner faceplate: French vanilla, chrome, dull silver.  He would like for the frames and the faceplates to all be interchangeable with one another.  And the faceplates will all be of the textures he said he's attracted to.  Strange how he almost always rubs shoulders with young moms and the daughters at the shops when that's often the only viable avenue with the second pillar.  Oh, and he's also thinking of knob wells as well.

Another thing the Heir's thinking is that, if matching classy knobs to a simple and cheap analog radio for the car won't work, there's the possibility of at least using a classy bezel for the analog radio.  Aesthetically it'll make the radio look pretty good because the gray and silver bezel will contrast with the dark gray radio.  And you focus more on that than on how drab the radio is in and of itself.  The Heir's fantasizing that he could get a one size fits all type bezel, or one that fits most, and adjust the knob wells in the bezel to the width between either knob and the radio interface.  That is, if the knobs aren't overly close to begin with.  And then to have one or two other bezels with a different design each so that every year or so he can swap out for another of the bezels and keep the dash continue to look interesting.  It'll be really something if there were going to be a classiness revival in the country as a backlash against what could be perceived as the impersonal nature of high tech.  Maybe that's the balanced future we may want in terms of designs.  Good technology, but also simplicity of use, and warm and elegant aesthetics.

Heir's always thinking about how to do the impossible or the impractical or the outright puzzling, in order to best serve the second pillar while pursuing the third pillar.  His latest mental project: have classy looking knobs on that one analog tuning car stereo he's had his eye on.  Now why do you want to do that!?  Well, if you're the Bachelor, or just in the Bachelor, no answer should be necessary.  Heir's thinking that he might just have detachable caps on the stereo factory knobs, and then he can have a suite of three or four sets of classy looking caps, and then swap them out on a whim every month or so.  Heir's getting tired of always having to go DIY, but if you're in a narrow niche such as the Bachelor, DIY is almost inevitable.  Maybe it's different in Europe or Canada?

Heir's getting closer to getting back to listening to radio music in his car.  Both Luscious Fishborne and Yumeka suggested that he try out the freeform stations in the area, and he's thinking of alternating between one station at a time and his music player while on the road.  It'll take the pressure of him having to constantly update the "sand band" stations on his player, but since he just got started with including free tracks in the sand band from the genres of jazz, reggae and traditional, he doesn't believe freeform radio will entirely replace updating for those particular genres.  Also he anticipates still keeping his dance, classic soul and Grateful Dead stations up to date in his player.  He wants to have a music plan that's both simple and structured.  To a certain degree it depends on receptibility of the freeform stations on his current car radio, because he also has his eye on that analog car radio which he doesn't know whether it's as good as picking up stations as on his stock radio.  He now hates his stock radio for having a digital tuner, because this is now the analog revival era, Responsibility Age be damned!

The Heir also ordered a Pro-164 radio scanner, and he's expecting it to arrive shortly.  He's on a roll with the audio products.  No longer should he be bored during the weekday evenings.  He should be able to listen to Main Team One in its struggle to even qualify for a wildcard, let alone achieve one.  And during the offseason also football and basketball.  Any nights there aren't any games, he gets to listen to Habana Cuba, Radio Espana or the Voice Of Vietnam on shortwave.  And others.  And if he doesn't feel like doing either he then gets to use this radio scanner to listen to first responders, railroad people, the air band, FRS, and those cop departments that haven't gone encrypted.  So now he's wondering about an analog slide rule tuning car radio with an aux input for his audio player.  He has a unit in mind, but he wants to cool it a bit on the spending thing, so as to get money into his savings.  You're supposed to save 10% of your income, but the Heir needs to save 15% because he got started later than he ideally should have as per the money experts.  Also he needs to do his homework on how to use a wiring kit to replace a car radio.  He thinks it'll be the fall by the time he's ready at the very earliest, and he's hoping that his choice unit will still be available for purchase.  And he also wants to buy some music maybe later in August, and then again in September or October.  He's got plans.

So we got the Sony SW22 through mail order, we wish that the furniture store had more of them, but it's a really cool radio.  Heir really likes how the tuning knob slides a lot better than on the Kaito 009.  It's a vertical slide rule display, and if anything goes wrong with the Sony in the near future, there are two or three other radios we got our eye on as insurance policies.  Eventually we'll also get a scanner.

Heir's really tired of all these premature obituaries about the beach, just because of the neighboring beach.  It's like, get a grip, people!  Heir's pretty sure he's the only one on the beach who believes the beach will go on for at least 20 more years, maybe as many as 50, because of the concept of continuity.  In the Bachelor episode The Happy Bachelor Doesn't Believe The World Will End This Year, we talk about how we believe in continuity as opposed to discontinuity.  Discontinuity is especially buttressed (boot-dressed) by that whole Live For Today mentality, which if science had it's proper grants, would be able to disprove substantively.  We should tear it apart ourselves, maybe in an upcoming episode.  But the main thrust is that absolutely everyone is supposed to bucket-list on a whim, and try to do absolutely everything they wanted to do all multitaskingly, otherwise they will supposedly end up with regrets.  Luscious Fishborne does that every single day, though, which is why he goes 50 in a 25 zone in his Infiniti SUV.  But here's the thing.  No-one ever considers just limiting on the count of one hand those things they'd want to do the most for a given day, within realistic time restraints.  Sure that's not bucket-listing, it's budget-listing.  So the Heir hopes that all that End Of The Beach business will go away next year for the most part, when no-one's thinking about the neighboring beach anymore, and the novelty has worn off.  No-one ever plans properly.  They just act on impulse, trying to tell themselves that tomorrow will never come, and end up wondering why tomorrow arrived after all.  Yes, Virginia, there is a future.

Frankly, we find the George Zimmerman verdict appalling.  And Naomi is worried about her teenaged cousin, in case the verdict gets more neighborhood watch volunteers to go vigilante because they now think they can get away with it.  We don't think Naomi needs to worry about that, but the Heir has called for better oversight and training of neighborhood watch volunteers nationwide, so as to prevent further such tragedies and controversies.  We don't believe that such preventive measures will in any way prevent the volunteers from doing their jobs.

We're trying to figure this one out.  Apparently according to Eibispace (http://www.eibispace.de/dx/bc-a13.txt), the Voice Of America broadcasts to eastern North America proper 0230 to 0300 Sunday.  This even though we do local radio first thing in the morning, and there's the Internet of course, and all the rest of tech.  So maybe it's a self test to hear how it sounds when broadcasting to other countries?  How badly does it wave in and out or something.  Or maybe it's a Valentine to classic DXers like us, or preppers like the Cigar Assistant.  We can't imagine it's a typo if it's too good to be true.

This weather radio (http://www.ebay.com/itm/Realistic-Crystal-Controlled-Weatheradio-Weather-Radio-Model-12-151A/251298051409?rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.m1851&_trkparms=aid%3D222002%26algo%3DSIC.FIT%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D163%26meid%3D8985060543358545417%26pid%3D100005%26prg%3D1088%26rk%3D2%26sd%3D181171299831%26) is unusually supercool classy looking.  Unfortunately it doesn't get the main weather station in our area.  If it did, it may have been a good addition to the car.  We also liked this one (http://www.ebay.com/itm/VINTAGE-REALISTIC-PATROLMAN-CB-6-MULTIBAND-RADIO-WORKS-/121134795853?pt=Vintage_Electronics_R2&hash=item1c34324c4d), for getting bands for just over $30 what we would have gotten on a scanner for $100+.  Granted a vintage isn't going to get FM or NFM, but a lot of transmissions still go on analog.  And you'd get the chance to find out whether CB is now a silent band now that its no longer the 70s.  We suspect it's anything but.  This one (http://www.ebay.com/itm/Russian-Multi-Band-Transistor-Radio-With-Owners-Manual-/330952640840?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4d0e508948) is a Russian radio, with a wonderfully complex slide rule dial.  Seems as though it tunes into bands you're not legally supposed to tune into in the US!

We were about to slam the NAC on audio, reflecting our cynicisms regarding their ultimate motives, despite their efforts in collecting information about the neighboring beach.  However, it appears as though the NAC is actually serious, with "Phase 2," so we've decided to defer criticism until we see how Phase 2 (http://www.naturistaction.org/fiis2) will turn out.  Problem is, most people don't know about it, only the core naturists with that non-landed club on Long Island.  We didn't see any press releases or anything the NAC had put out on any social media, so as to get it truly viral, in the spirit of the Occupy movements, albeit without the desperation of Flaileef.  And speaking of Flaileef, we deferred criticism of the NAC, in favor of criticism of the Ed Snowden affair from Flaileef's point of view.  And again, it'll be Richard Pryor who will smuggle Ed Snowden on the next flight to Venezuela like he did for Gene Wilder.

Taco Bell is not BSK!

You can best measure your commitment to making a difference in the world as follows.  First, make sure you get counted along with others as you and they make sure a specific goal in social action is met.  And then when that goal is met, be sure to withdraw yourself from that counting list, because you know dang well that the activist group you momentarily aligned yourself to has no intention of standing up to be counted in furthering the pro-sex ideology the way you expected them to as return for your acquiescing to their demands that you had to be "involved" no matter what.  And also at that point your name being on that specific list won't matter anyway.  Be sure to have designs on them before they have designs on you, because that's the Hobson's Choice you'll be faced with.  This I say as the Mentor, also along with the Heir.

Heir's upset about all this talk about the beach about end-of-the-beach, end-of-the-beach, just because of that neighboring beach.  We will get to talk about what we believe are the politics of the latter soon enough, but the Heir gets it the most from the cigar assistant, who also literally worries about an asteroid collision.  The cigar assistant said he heard about a possible asteroid collision from Paranoid Prairie Companion on kHz 17250 this morning, which featured a discredited astronomer from Florida Lakes University who claimed that there's no way we can't have a collision in the next twenty years that won't result in the deaths of 80% of the population of North America.  The discredited astronomer showed charts of North America before and after the future asteroid collision, in which it will look like a mostly sunken archipelago.  This despite the fact that it's impossible to show charts on shortwave radio (we're not talking about the fax stations by the way).  The astronomer claims that it will be the sexually immoral U.S. states, and all of Canada, and the entire Caribbean that will suffer the deaths, slowly and horribly, with the most drug-ridden areas of Central America surviving.  After all, you got to take the good with the bad.  Heir got facetious and said, well I suppose they must have also got into this thing with end-of-the-beach on shortwave, and the assistant claims that they did.  Heir would greatly prefer that the end-of-the-beach paranoid/depressed crowd would just snap out of it.

Since the Heir believes that the wiretapping crisis is less about substantive privacy issues and more about the personality cult of Edward Snowden, he has a theory about what happened to Ed Snowden when he was supposed to board a flight from Moscow to Cuba.  Think of that scene in Silver Streak where Richard Pryor was able to sneak Gene Wilder back onto the train by disguising him as a bruthuh.  That's how Ed Snowden was able to evade arrest.

* * * * * * * * * *

National Principle

* * * * * * * * * *

The Business Theories The Bachelor Has Regarding The Availability Of Grape Soda. On audio: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/thehappybachelor.m3u

Transcript of latest adventure available at: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/

Heir really likes looking at the train videos, such as https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOQfcFEwiJs&feature=youtube_gdata_player, on his faux book enclosed tablet in his club chair.  He really likes the Southern Pacific style countryside in this and similar videos, with the general stores and cottage industries and the character-weedy slopes next to the tracks.  It's a good escape from the Responsibility Age atmosphere of surrounding Blands Township with its sprawled condos and strip malls and stuff.  Heir may get me the Mentor to post more links, for your viewing pleasure.

Main Team One might be able to stave off continuing their losses on the road.  They just hit a three run homer, 3-0 thus far about the third inning or so (Now they batted in, it's 4-0).  We'll see how well the rest of the game goes against Hollywood Hills Team.

We're working on getting a new episode out on audio.  We're not sure when that'll be.  Of course we'll announce.

Heir looked at all that stuff about Open Sky, and he figures it's mainly water under the bridge in terms of threats of scanner obsolescence.  He really likes the RS Pro-160 because it gets better band coverage than the Uniden 75XLT, plus most of the major trunking services.  The Uniden is simpler and more robust, but the Heir also likes the chrome finish on the 160, a small but sure nod toward the second pillar.  Uniden is a lot more plain, so it's not a superficial consideration.  Heir's 80% confident that he'll be able to get most of the NFM channels on the 160 even though the 160 manual is vague in terms of whether it supports NFM.  He sees it for $120 on Amazon, just $20 more than the 75XLT.  In the meantime he has the scanning web site http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/?rl=rr to whet his scanning appetite, though it's not the same as the real thing, he doesn't think.

As an extension to the music/audio Bachelor pillar, Heir's looking at getting a radio scanner for the Swank Lounge household.  The site www.radioreference.com/‎ was very helpful in indicating which frequencies are used in Bachelor Borough, neighboring Blands Township and the rest of the surrounding counties.  However, the Heir needs to know whether most scanners allow you, for example, to scan through just one bank's worth of frequencies, because he wants to designate one bank per related set of frequencies.  Like he would have a Fire/EMS bank, a limited cop bank, a railroad bank and each major business he saw in the freqs list would have its own bank.  That is, to start.  Also, he's attracted to those scanners that use a designated top knob for maximum control of the unit, rather than just futz with buttons all the time.  He wants to make it as akin to the tuning elegance of classic radio as possible.  Though it may be pushing it, he would like very much  to get an adequate scanner for $50, and no more than $80.  If he has to spend around $100, he'll do it, though he will absolutely not spend $400-$500.  All the time he's telling me the Mentor about prices, he's going "boing-oing-oing-oing!!"  (Audible sticker shock).  I remind him that the upper end scanners are likely those that try to beat trunking encryption of the cop freqs, though in the long run that will be a fool's errand.  Heir saw a YouTube video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdvCUfLtjuo of a guy being able to get decent railroad transmissions on a Radio Shack he got used for $30-$50, a real bargain for him, Radio Shack as a scanner brand often sneered at on the Radio Reference forums as below quality.  So there's probably room for savings for the Heir.  He had one or two other features he had in mind on his wish list, but he forgot what those were offhand.  He will want a 1/8" audio jack so he can plug it into the Swank Lounge's FM transmitter, so he can hear the transmissions on our audio sets.  He'll be doing stuff and having an audio set sitting on a shelf giving him transmissions of a train operator making sure his train is literally on the right track.

Here's an interesting radio from the relatively recent past: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Radio-Shack-Multiband-Portable-Radio-Model12-456-in-box-broken-antenna-/251284044389?pt=US_Portable_AM_FM_Radios&hash=item3a81b23a65.  Radio Shack also stocks replacement antennas, BTW, and most of them appear standard.  They did warn about not getting the TV bands, which once again is too bad.  The Bachelor's favorite multiband at the swank lounge, not pictured at the site though, also gets the now pointless TV bands.  If the Heir doesn't find a converter antenna topper soon, he's thinking that it'd be cool if the two bands could be swapped for bands not on their radio.  Like one TV band can be swapped out for CB, and the other can be swapped out for the 145+ MHz vhf band.  Sure there may not always be signals, but we certainly would get more than on the TV bands which only get ghosts of FM stations, real trashy commercial ones too.

We're concerned about the actuary report that estimates that Social Security will run out in the year 2033.  That's actually two years before the Heir is scheduled to retire (by that time he'll be the mentor, I will be gone, and he will have his own heir).  However, the Heir's not concerned about whether the report means he'll spend his golden years in poverty, as much as the fact that in the next couple of weeks the political vanillas will try to use the report as an excuse as to why the Heir has to give them a moralistic blank check, which they anticipate as disincentivizing their obligation to uphold the pro-sex ideology.  How do they know they have such an obligation?  It's because we in the Bachelor have been telling them so for exactly seven years as of this month of June.

Filter King.  Dang is that four on the floor?  Almost like six on the floor!

Here's the Heir saying, if Main Team One gets swept by Main Team Two, it won't matter what they do for the rest of the year.  The media will rub it in because as far as the Heir knows, Main Team One won't face Two for the rest of the regular season.  It won't matter if Main Team One in turn sweeps Chowdah this weekend out of sheer frustration, trying to make up for lost time, because it'll be too little too late.  In fact, the Heir's pretty sure Main Team One will lose the Chowdah series 2 out of 3, and their solitary win Sunday will mostly be a gimme.  Probably a fluke 5-4 win.  Or maybe it'll just get rained out owing to what the weather service radio forecasts for Sunday.

Heir's looking for some opera light style detachable add-ons for his vehicle, even though it's a modern vehicle that's not intended to accommodate conventional opera lights.  As per the classiness pillar.  We should probably add the following link to the classiness section on our site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opera_window and/or a great gallery site.  Heir had a hard time finding out what the name was at first, until he stumbled upon it while reading online about the old Cadillacs.  So he's wondering whether there's such things as detachables that charge via solar during the day, and come on at night, and that they would be energy efficient with LEDs so that they would last all night or for as long as he wants them to.  Like he could pick them up at the local auto store for $30-40 a set.  No reason why you can't do that, but we're not sure demand for such items exists, because at this point in time no-one outside the Bachelor would come up with the idea!

Bachelor will try not to beat a fallen horse on that ghastly attack on that soldier in London, as we've already made an announcement a few hours ago.  But we forgot to announce how we wonder why there isn't a debunker/responder web site to challenge Inspire! for example.  Any time Inspire! tries to tell young extremists how good it is to be a martyr, there needs to be someone to respond to that and tells them that unless it's for the pro-sex ideology, martyrdom is generally not worth it.  Heir's at least temporarily satisfied that he has this attack to express outrage over, as a distraction from near-resignation about The Responsibility Age making the world more apathetic, insincere and meaningless.  But, hey, we're still The Happy Bachelor!

With that attack in London, where the CIS said the suspects attacked that soldier with at least one machete, we in the Bachelor wonder why no one among the onlookers didn't himself take a machete and challenge the attackers to a duel, which the attackers would certainly lose, and then for the attackers go from a very pompous "an eye for an eye," to "oh no please anything but that!"  It's very easy for the attackers to make the former proclamation when they're on the giving end.  Heir thinks they're such complete wimps.  Also the Heir had pointed out when that anti-American violence took place last September, that he doesn't trust the notion that if we in the west stop what we're doing, the extremists will stop what they're doing.  So he doesn't trust a guy with a bloody knife making a similar claim.  The Heir wonders if that's just the guy's way of saying, "you suckers!"

You know what the Heir's nostalgic for?  The good ole days, that's what.  But more specifically, he thinks about those radios from 25 or 35 years ago, that have a gray silver finish to them.  When he goes to the cozy pharmacy store sitting right on the border between Bachelor Borough and Blands Township, he sees a Sony line there that reminisce back to the silver finish days, with a surrounding black casing.  He's thinking that if they move the band switcher to the front, make it multi-notch and add on the weather bands to the band switcher, they'd have something.

Here are some links to radios the Heir enjoyed looking at this morning on eBay (be sure to request desktop site on these if you're on a tablet, since eBay does not show pics in mobile mode): http://item.mobileweb.ebay.com/viewitem?itemId=350796654664&index=2&nav=SEARCH&nid=05410861590, http://item.mobileweb.ebay.com/viewitem?itemId=251277341530&index=8&nav=SEARCH&nid=05410861590, http://item.mobileweb.ebay.com/viewitem?itemId=121005086444&index=11&nav=SEARCH&nid=05410861590,
http://item.mobileweb.ebay.com/viewitem?itemId=280552040239&index=23&nav=SEARCH&nid=05410861590.  Heir found these through the eBay radio link on the Bachelor site.  Three of these use the "TV" bands, which is a shame now that TV has gone totally to digital.  Heir's still on the lookout for that digital-to-analog converter ball he can stick on top of the radio antenna, even though some news programs on 2-13 now syndicate on some radio stations.

Okay, a nerd entertainment moment with the Heir.  He had a couple of people getting bummed out for no particularly good reason, and he thought about the emotional shift of the population in the months after Sandy, and it got him to thinking about passages from Tolkien's the Silmarillion (though it can never replace the Artifactorial no matter how hard it tries).  So he got to thinking about the eucatastrophe that allows middle earth to make Morgoth really pay for it, in the form of the Earendil chapter.  On YouTube he found the audio passages accordingly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4IZnzpkDWQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUjv7dNSacM&feature=youtube_gdata_player, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDv4DIsV-bU&feature=youtube_gdata_player, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZVBOaIMA8I&feature=youtube_gdata_player.  Someone also posted a simulated trailer if someone made the Silmarillion into a movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT9UcZPT2DU&feature=youtube_gdata_player.  Guy said that maybe this will get Peter Jackson to make the movie, and then someone said, forget Peter Jackson, *you* must make this movie!

Heir's not really all that sure about DJ Roomer after about five months, post-Sandy. Roomer's mixes often use that progressive build-up that doesn't build up to anything, and effectively kills the rest of the mix. If the Heir likes what he hears from the free house downloads, those will likely replace Roomer on his audio.

Here's something the Heir said recently that we very well could go into more depth on audio: You should stand for what you believe in, and you should do what you believe is right.  That's not to say that the activist lifestyle is necessarily a particularly good way of doing it.  So when a charismatic few leaders of a given movement say, "We're calling everyone to action!!!," it's okay to be skeptical about that.  For one thing, ask yourself, do I trust these people implicitly?  If not, then you might be wasting your time doing everything the movement tells you (and nothing they don't).  But if you do trust them implicitly, how do you know they won't take privilege and end up going corrupt in their leadership, because there's no-one they believe they need to answer to?  The fact is, you don't know that it won't happen.  So what the Heir believes is that, it's not so much United We Stand Divided We Fall, it's more akin to Principled We Stand Corrupt We Fall.  Of course, if the movement is exclusively about going pro-sex and/or striking a healthful hedonistic simplicity, that trumps most reservations.  And it may very well make other activist needs in society effectively moot.

The Question Of Whether Happy Singles Should Be Required To Go To Sexual Surrogates. On audio: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/thehappybachelor.m3u

Transcript of latest adventure available at: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/

Heir can think of a number of "pollittishuns" that the lyrics in http://www.gilligansisle.com/double.html can be adapted to.  They'll even come right out and go "And That's Me" at the end.

Heir had another run-in with Nicole Banker Brown.  For some reason it had to do with meerkats.  Those are ground squirrel- or possum- like creatures in either the southwest US or Mexico that eat scorpions.  Heir hates how they do it.  They mutilate the scorpions by chomping off their stingers, and then going for the scorpions themselves.  I as the Mentor constantly remind the Heir of that old age adage, that "Mother Nature Is A Bitch," but the Heir seems convinced that once a scorpion loses his stinger, he can never grow it back (I'm not sure how accurate that is, depending on what they say on audio).  But with Nicole Banker Brown, she had bought all these garden sculptures of meerkats, with one sculpture eating a mutilated scorpion.  After she set them up in her and Dan Doctor Brown's front yard, the Heir looked away from them when he was arriving home from W, and she took offense.  She told the Heir how rude he was for not acknowledging her and Dan as neighbors just because he didn't like the meerkat sculptures.  Heir tried to explain it to her politely and diplomatically, but he has no idea how to do that in ten words or less.  Then she was like, well I'm really sorry you don't like my meerkats but that's just the way it is, and she stormed off into their house.  Heir can never say the right thing to them.  And it's getting warmer today, getting closer to nekkid beach season, but the Browns can never be assuaged he thinks.

Heir wants to add the free music sites he found to the music links list on the Bachelor site.  He hopes the free sites won't fold a week after he does so, seeing how socially he ends up buying high and selling low.

You will also see a pic of the Main Cigar Guy, and tentative behind-the-scenes type sketches of the Cigar Assistant and the cigar shop on the Bachelor site when we update to our next episode.  The latest major changes date on the site is meant to match up with the latest announcement in this list regarding site changes.  But you may need to proceed back further to find out about all we documented about the changes we're looking at.  In any case, don't never forget: you can take the Bachelor out of the Swank Lounge, but you can't take the Swank Lounge out of the Bachelor.

Also when you see Sonya on the Bachelor site when we do our next episode update, she'll also be in the navbar as well.  Leeanna and Lucinda also gave us updated profile pics, and you'll see those on the Bachelor site as well.

Heir really enjoyed the free last.FM track Jamie My Intentions Are Bass by an act called "!!!", it's going to be real hard to find them on a search engine for an online store.  The track itself sounds like a disco tribute, with vocal stylings similar to KC And The Sunshine Band, and guitar rhythms almost akin to 1979 or 1980.  The free music sites in contrast to music podcasts are part of a permanent social shift because of last year's hurricane, but that's the way it's going to have to be, until the record industry starts going after the free music sites.  Maybe by then the Heir will go to online radio recording to play and sample in the car on his audio player.

When we do our next update, we're expecting Sonya's profile pic to appear in the Bachelor Family section on the site.  We're also expecting to have her next in our "rotation," so you'll also hear her as well as see her.

Heir's having to deal with institutions for a variety of complicated but necessary purposes, and the self medication he's using to alleviate the aggravation comes in the form of the old batman episodes from the 60s, including that voice eraser episode we talked about in the current episode.  One thing that strikes him is how they did that tilted camera angle for the villains' hideouts.  But he goes through these TV show phases, and he wants to be able to not have it always be about phases at this point in his life.  20 year olds go through phases, he thinks, not old farts like him.

"Well what do you want, for your... Heir's-going-through-a-tv-phase-but-doesnt-think-old-farts-like-him-should-go-through-phases type meal!?"

We're enjoying JGM's podcast episode Disco Africa, from nearly six years ago. I the Mentor admire Cez's online humility in today's age of put-your-kids'-pics-on-your-Facebook-profile-so-weird-people-can-see-them. Cez has never shown his face or volunteered personal information. He figures, it seems, that the music is bigger than all of us. For the Heir's part, the Heir keeps wondering over and over again, dang who is Cez? Who is Cez?

Heir has revised his audio set ideal once again.  This time its a combo of a Sony AM/FM pocket radio (the kind that drug stores sell), a midland weather radio with a search feature, and a scaled down mp3 player whose display is below the radio slide rule.  There's a silver one and a brown one.  And there's the horizontal variety, and the vertical.  The silver form looks just like the Sony, and the brown one looks like the early aughties kaito and sangean ones.  Heir sees the brown one with a yellow backgrounded slide rule and LCD for the mp3 portion.  Overall, Heir's musings serve two purposes.  First, he drives home the point that mp3 functioning is more appropriate on a radio than a mainstream smartphone, because you can get your information on the radio, before listening to the music via mp3, a fitting duology.  Second, it's a welcome daydream for the Heir in contrast to all the constant tragedies the past six months.  Sandy, Newtown and now Boston.  Heir thinks we need a break, and goodness knows we deserve one.

OK all you smarty pants at the FBI watching this insurgent announcements list, you might have gotten a ping from the Heir's tablet as he was researching the exact distance between the cathedral where the interfaith gathering took place, and the location at MIT where the first shootout took place.  It's 2.6 miles driving distance.  Not *even* as the crow flies.  So the Heir wasn't exaggerating when he estimated 3 miles.  Heir wanted to supply a query style web address for the benefit of all, but he's not sure Google supports such a feature, maybe if you have a premium account.

Now that they got their guy, there are some questions the Heir thinks should be investigated.  The most burning one is, why did the Secret Service clear Funny Named Skinny Kid's appearance at the interfaith gathering 12 hours before the suspects' shootout with the cops and roughly 3 miles away from the shootout?  Another question the Heir has is how and where did the suspects get the explosives they used against the cops, including explosives that CBS news radio said the investigators found in the suspects' house?  Third question: should the suspects have appeared on watch lists or communiqués that they haven't?  After the Heir asked these questions while burning novelty incense with Carmen and me the Mentor, he got a cell call from Richard Clarke who said, these are very important questions, and we as a nation hope to get some very important answers.

OK, update on that situation at the neighboring beach at http://naturistaction.org/AlertsAdvisoriesUpdates/ALERTS/NY_2013_Fire_Island_04-12-13/ny_2013_fire_island_04-12-13.html (this is linked from their page at http://naturistaction.org/AlertsAdvisoriesUpdates/Current/current.html).  In addition to NAC's talking points, the Bachelor in their emails also contrasted the phrase "politics as usual" with "refreshing sense of statesmanship," as per the Heir's experience having once had an alliance with the vanilla progressives 2004-2006.  But even reading between the lines with the talking points, the Bachelor still believes what's happening at that beach is decidedly anti-gay, though the players are using code words.  Also, if the NAC loses this one, it will have a severe impact on the Bachelor's desire to speculate on essentials economics, since it will seem borne of a live-by-bread-alone spartan puritanicalism.  We're saying that this early out, so once we throw essential economics under the bus, no-one should be surprised.

Really bad what happened in Boston.  Hope all of you are okay!

OK people.  With Letitia, she had moved to Las Vegas back in early December to further her career, shortly after we put out our first post-Sandy episode.  She and we wished each other a good holiday online and a Happy New Year after.  But it was after that that we lost touch.  Our messages, including from Leeanna and Lucinda, both online and phone/text went unanswered.  We got worried about it, until Lucinda showed us updates on Letitia's web site that were definitely new.  So Letitia's OK but it seems as though she had moved on.  And I the Mentor told the Heir that we also have to move on accordingly.

The devil's whorehouse is made up of idle you-know-what's!

Mentor: "I suppose the Heir's always concerned about something. Today he heard on Bloomberg Radio that Al of News Core is considering moving entirely to cable and away from the airwaves. Heir's hoping it won't prompt everyone else to follow suit, and then radio will be abandoned next. He believes that everything we're for in the Bachelor the rest of the world is against: sex, classiness, music, food and getting your information through audio. He's calling for a shifting of mental gears here, and I will offer him audience accordingly."

The Bachelor Prevents Qattwoemyn's Voice Eraser From Falling Into The Hands Of Extremists From Mali. On audio: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/thehappybachelor.m3u

Transcript of latest adventure available at: http://home.comcast.net/~aadams134/

As the Bachelor embroils with Oliver Stone over assertions he and his historian made on the CIS, the Heir believes that Chuck Hagel's decision to stand down testing of ABMs in the South Korean seas is problematic, and will only serve to muddy the waters of the debate the Bachelor is in.  What the Bachelor has to respond with is likely to appear on audio about 2-3 episodes from now (unfortunately that could be in June or even July).  But the ABM stand down could either elicit a "See I told you so" (not from the Bachelor side of the debate), or it could conversely take the wind out of assertions made about the US-South Korean joint exercises.  Either way it's going to make the Heir nostalgic about North Korea's over-the-top threats just a week ago.  At least there's no mistaking those.

We may not be posting here as much for the next couple of weeks, because the stuff we want to talk about right about now will mostly go into an episode, on audio.  Tentatively once that episode comes put, we'll want to rip on Oliver Stone, and then go to gays, guns and grape soda.  We're concerned about the grape soda bit in particular.

Heir thought it was a real nice day today.  Even though it'll be dastardly cold tomorrow, it seems a real upper today.  That and the fact that the Heir sidestepped all attempts thus far at his being the butt of someone's April Fool's joke.  Attempts coming from Smug Gloater, Luscious Fishborne, Blynn Zimmerman, and possibly many many more.  This time they were the April Fools, not him.

Happy Easter!  Heir shared that Tom and Jerry video of that one duck going around going, "Happy Easter!  Happy Easter!"  But he's not sure anyone liked it.  Admittedly the duck gets real annoying, because after a while it's like, okay dude, you made your point so Happy Easter to you too.  Unfortunately Tom and Jerry are inherent mutes so they can't actually say that.  But nothing stops them from writing a message and then getting their owner to deliver that message verbally to the duck.  The selective mutism is Tom and Jerry's main flaw, and it's the ultimate reason why they have those problems with each other.  From the 1940s to the 1970s, excepting their successors in Itchy and Scratchy, it never occurred to them to see someone about it.  Tom barely even goes meow meow, and Jerry doesn't go squeak squeak.  Real life cats and mice have no problems getting their point across, but not Tom or Jerry.

We're still working on getting the next Bachelor episode out.  Obviously the Heir previously struggling with his taxes didn't help matters.  We're shooting for getting a third of the way done sometime today, and we're looking at just a little over a week from now.  Keep it posted here if there are any changes to that plan.

Don't apologize for who you are.  Don't apologize!

Heir looked at his feed about Funny Named Skinny Kid signing some kind of Monsanto Protection Act, and then it says goodbye traditional food.  But what he has to ask is, is the latter a foregone conclusion?  And if so, what would there be left to protect?  And would it be worth protecting if you can't reverse the damage?  And if you could reverse it, should the caption read, goodbye traditional food and hey wait minute it's back again like nothing happened?  That's the problem with those kinds of wordings.  It doesn't make the Heir want to get involved.  And there are other questions which cannot be detailed in just one Bachelor announcement.

The Heir has completed his state taxes, just in the nick of time before April.  He copied them, and mailed them out.  He did this 2-3 weeks after he sent off his Federal taxes.  Finally that's over and done with.  The Heir plans to mostly veg with the institutions next week.  There's something he needs to get done, but he needs a break before that, and hopefully nothing bad will happen next week that will interfere with his relaxation (knock on wood).

While the Heir was checking in with the Beach Bulletin Board, which is powered by Facebook, he came across something elsewhere on Facebook, a pinups page.  They complained that one of their pics got reported, and their admin was kicked off for 30 days, even though the pic didn't contain nudity.  Guys, the Heir said, don't waste your time with Facebook.  Facebook is vanilla anyway.  Just post on a regular web site, *with* nudity, and with an adults-only warning.  You'll still have the same number of visitors and appreciators.  He also thinks Voyeur Web is also wasting their time on Facebook if you have to have fig leaves and apologies.

While the Heir was collecting audio player files for listening to the information on Your Economy, on audio, he came across callouts about the economic perils of the "millenials."  He's hoping that vanilla society isn't going to write them off like he felt they wrote off his generation for not being as mature at 18-25 as people through 45-60 were at the time.  Totally unrealistic expectations.  And now that same society doesn't want to help the Heir's generation at this point.  What if the millenials end up proving the vanilla society wrong?  What if at 30, 40, 50 the millenials finally get their groove on because they just needed that extra time?  The vanilla society will refuse to consider that possibility because of the deadline concept.  Where have we heard that one before?

It's a lot lighter than it was last month.  The Heir has noticed the increased light level in the lounge coming through the "rain" window, better known as the light window in this announcement.  But it's still cold as all hell out there, in Bachelor Blue State.  So the Heir wanted us to plunge out there with a good walk, but Carmen reminded him it's still 45 degrees, and the Heir's like, "Oh yeah that's right."  Not that it disqualifies, but it's still early for spring cleaning.  Heir's real impatient.  He wants to get out to the beach and everything.

The Heir reads, "80% of society gets this wrong.  How many squares are there?"  And he says, it's a trick question.  There are no squares, only rectangles.  A square is a four sided polygon with equal sides and all right angles, and there's none of that there!  And they didn't ask about rectangles, by the way, only squares.

It's all about the Heir!  At least so it seems.  The Heir says this, the Heir thinks that.  What about the Mentor?  Well, I as the Mentor, am his guide, his mentor.  That's why I'm called that.  During a given episode when the Heir expresses his usual cynicism of the world, I ask him probing questions as to the limits of his cynical messaging.  And I have to be superman as a result.  In a world where the only superman life gives you is a Poindexter, you need a superman superman.  But you got to go with fiction to find him.  And then he'll help you in the nonfiction world.

While the Heir catches up on the Beach Bulletin Board, he sees shares borne of emotional blackmail, particularly related to issues faced by our brave men and women when they come home.  The shares say something to the effect of, "Like if you care, ignore if you don't," and the Heir believes that that is totally uncalled for.  We at the Bachelor believes we should do what we can to help our veterans and their families.  Reinforcing online guilt trips and false choice interfaces are not the way to do it, though.

When the Heir came across that online video fifteen years ago for All Your Base Are Belong To Us, he saw that montage piece where a football streaker, a British guy streaking at an international football game, was getting chased across the field by a couple of bobbies, the Heir was sure the guy was going, "It's okay!  I'm bucket-listing!"

Heir got soap out of the dispensor at Bland Barns mens room, and the dispensor shot open on him. The Heir left it that way, knowing that it was counter to the notion that if everyone would always do the "right" thing the world would be a much better place. But the Heir knows now that if they didn't do the same in assuring quality of the dispensor, any futzing on his part with the dispensor essentially disincentivizes their doing so in the future. What the notion said was, if everyone did the right thing, not if only the Heir did the right thing. He figures you need to think critically about it, and not simply follow the notion blindly.

Heir noticed that there was that one senator whose comments people were taking outraged offense at.  As objectionable as those comments are, Heir thinks they're par for the course for the other 99 senators.

The Heir's trying to wrap his brain around the notion of vocational incompetence as somehow being a form of "creativity."  It's not.  He thinks about the otherwise sensible adage, "All work and no play makes one creatively dead," and thinks about how that adage can be twisted and corrupted.  When he was at a summer job 30+ years ago, the atmosphere was such that if you tried to tell your boss that you weren't being incompetent, you were being creative, he would score you as insubordinate and fire you at will.  Reform of such supervisory abuse has done more harm than good in the long run.  If you don't pay your dues, you almost don't deserve to have your hedonistic fun, and it's that much more likely it'll all be taken away from you in a supernatural fit of bad karma.

So, people, how do you like all the depressing bummed out things the Heir has been saying about the future so far?  Well, hopefully it's all unwarranted, and as per the Bachelor, we can all go back to having fun with the four pillars once we solve our problems.  The important thing is for us to want to solve those problems, specifically for getting back to those fun things.  The Heir imagines Schumer or Menendez laying all those vague verbal accolades on him if he as America's Hobbit slays the great demons menacing that other beach, but in his raspy voice, he'll say, thanks, but just give me a grape soda, and join us all at Barbecue Spice Kitchen.  Where else? And this story will continue.

So now the Heir's pretty sure that solely because of The Other Zombie Apocalypse on the neighboring beach, there will be no more nude beaches left by 2050 (not even in Europe), because both suburban sprawl and The Responsibility Age will hasten the Toza, it means the last human being will die on St. Patrick's Day 2113, exactly 100 years from now, because we'll take our frustrations out on each other and destroy ourselves as a species.  Yumeka asked him whether that contradicts the pro-sex belief in a Twenty Third Watershed, and the Heir said, no because it just means he won't be around to see it, he doesn't think.  He'll live with the comforting thought of human extinction in 100 years as existential punishment for our present day inhibitions, since he won't live long enough anyway.  It relieves him of the embitteredness of thinking that he'll live long enough only to see the worst, but not long enough to see the best.

Heir's wondering whether NAC really has it all well in hand with their advisory.  They've asked people not to take further action while they hire a counsel and have that person talk to the park service.  He figures they should have followed up on that by now, well more a month after their advisory was put into effect.  So what if they come out a week before Memorial Day to report failure, and then it'll be too late for anyone to do anything, because we were all waiting on them for further guidance?  And then they'll tell us anyway that it was us that should not have waited for them?  Well, you asked us to wait for you!  And that's what we did!  You see?  No blank checks to these people after a certain point.  And we only have two and a half months till the beginning of summer.  And that's not enough time to get anything done by.

It's snowing in Bachelor Borough!  Heir's pretty sure it'll accumulate, contrary to All Hazards Radio's forecast.  Looks like it's accumulating already.

We're probably getting to the point where we may not have something to say every single day.  We enjoyed a honeymoon of soapbox stuff in the first couple of weeks we started this announcements list.  So don't panic if you haven't seen any updates 20 hours apart from each other.  Maybe 30 instead.

To those who claim that the person driving exactly the speed limit in front of them is driving them crazy, the Heir asks, as opposed to what? Those who habitually drive 20 over or more? Seems like the 20 overs doth protest too much!

The reason why you didn't see any new announcements here for a couple of days is because the Heir is still bummed out and scared about the situation with the other beach.  He can barely talk about it.  We think we likened it on this list as a red tailed hawk flying overhead and you as one of the little birds dare not sing.  In code he calls it The Other Zombie Apocalypse, TOZA for short.  The Heir did make a donation as asked for, but because of The Last Meaningful Election Ever revealing the ultimately corrupt nature of the activist lifestyle, he refuses to give them a blank check.  He also doesn't want to keep up appearances (as per the brit-com), with nudity somehow being utterly disconnected with deep personal eroticism, just to avoid TOZA.  He sees the organizations wanting people to keep pushing that particular talking point memo, and he doesn't believe it's going to help.  Instead he points out that, just because you admit a deep personal eroticism in nudity doesn't mean you're going to engage in public lewdness.  Conversely, knowing that it's wrong to be lewd doesn't and shouldn't mean you should appropriate a nudist vanilla-ism.  That's all the Heir feels up to talking about right now, so that way he gets to whine and complain about more trivial stuff in the foreseeable future.

Links to pics of Leeanna and Lucinda on Renderotica from the Bachelor site will be available in the next update for the next episode.  We intend to add more pics of the other girlfriends as those become available.

Turns out the Heir was right about the cannibal cop case.  They did vote to convict, and the Heir wasn't even fooled for a second by the length of time they took to arrive at that verdict.  So now people need to understand that if they have any "forbidden" fantasies whatsoever, it's not a foregone conclusion that they'll necessarily end up doing the wrong thing as a result.  Bachelor might talk about this in a future pro-sex sermon on audio so as to spare details here in the announcements.

It just occurred to the Bachelor as to why there were problems with nudity in San Francisco and a neighboring beach of ours.  It's discrimination against gays.  Also it makes sense to the Bachelor that the gay community might have waited for a single het contingent like The Happy Bachelor to point that out instead of it being only them.  Lots of things with the other beach are falling into place, with the discrimination, and Bachelor breathes a little easier with Carmen's preferred beach and dress code.  But it's still only going to be 5-10 years time before it's borrowed time, though not because of the other beach.  Again it's about overrestrictiveness in the vanilla society as a whole, and all of the Heir's predictions, like humanity being totally gone in exactly 100 years still hold fast.  Unless we get to the Twenty Third Watershed before then, because it's one or the other, and no other choice, (the Heir wonders).  Paradise or extinction.

We've added two more pics to our gallery at Renderotica, one of Leeanna and one of Lucinda.  Click or tap on any of the links in our previous post about Renderotica, then click or tap on the link that says something to the effect of, view all pages/entries/pics by hbgfs.  That's our handle on Renderotica, standing for Happy Bachelor Girlfriends.

Today we took a road trip down riverside u.s. highway, all 78 miles down to riverside small disaffected town next to the great bridge.  The down to earth character we saw in the people there reminded us a lot of what the eastern portion of bachelor blue state was like before the more hypochondriac vanillas essentially carpetbagged it. We want to do more state trips like that, partly to demonstrate that seeing street view pics on your mobile device is no substitute for the real thing.

The Happy Bachelor girlfriends are starting to post on Rendereotica!  Here are links to pics of Leeanna and Lucinda (this might require signing up there, we're not entirely sure): https://www.renderotica.com/gallery/showimage.php?i=125607&catid=member&imageuser=97968, https://www.renderotica.com/gallery/showimage.php?i=125606&c=member&imageuser=97968.  We also plan on making these links available from the Bachelor site, and adding onto them as we go!